Sometimes silence is the key. It was the day I looked at what I use to call my enemy, my child. During a pregnancy a child will have you looking at a stranger in the mirror and you will question yourself, is that me? For your waistline is not the same, it appears I have been visited by a tiger, for my nose has betrayed me, it has decided it would spread and told me it needed more oxygen for the baby is all it cared about. For why does some mothers die in childbirth? Did the mother birth its enemy? The question remains why would you select a child over me, did you forget I am the creator, did you not understand I could create another child, or was the mother only the breeder and I had no meaning to you other than to create a child and when the time came and the doctor asked the mother or the child what would you say? You were foolish enough to say you took the child and let the mother pass away, who raised the child? For the child might look like me, sound like me and you may even say you are your mother’s daughter, but the child is not me. 

 You gave my child to another woman and told her she became the new mother over my child, now look at what you have done, you have destroyed the child. Not only did you allow me to die but you allowed my spirit that was supposed to live on die, for my child might seem like me, but when the grandchild arrives you will understand your wife died. Marrying the man that selects the child over the mother is the worst mistake a woman can make because he has no head of the future, only a heart that said take the most innocent, you foolish man, never place my picture next to your heart and call yourself the widow, I prefer you tell them I’m the crackhead in the street. For I became the crackhead in the street and birth your child and told you good luck, for crack is my pleasure, for it allows me to live in dreamland even if I am sitting on the street with not even a meal to eat. I distance myself from love and affection because I saw the love was never real, for you have given my seat away to something that acts nothing like me, for I hate you, I blame myself for loving the weak man because he had a sweet heart, you fool. When you die, please don’t look for me for I was already reborn.  

Know you will never graze those sick eyes on my skin again, for I knew I was a fool back then but today that fool that sat in me, knows not to utter a word, for I learned to never love the man that loves and gives the small sweet gifts for he is the fool that will betray me, for he has no head. Now excuse me, now I have to fix the damage, that I have caused, step aside and allow me to speak to my daughter and my daughter understand me when I speak and she will pass down what I teach to her daughter and maybe the fool you took my place will vanish, for the elegant nature of whom I am crossed over into my child, call me the absence parent you may but you fail to realized my core still lives in my child, my child began acting like me, for she is my child, so I just need to activate myself within her and maybe one day that grandchild that Is truly mine, I might accept that it is mine. My darling first I’m going to explain to you how I found out you was indeed my daughter, it was when the spirit lead me into Ole Spice that I knew as the Cocoa Butter Strength, I wrote a small book for you, for I danced with the words when I spoken them, for I wanted to explain my past to the child, in the most evil way. The question is how the most powerful villain hides, it hides in the children stories for it’s able to tell the truth about everything but because it shown itself as a cartoon, the parent laughs and the children cuddle in those bedsheets, for they love the story that the most powerful villain has told. For my child it’s your bedtime, I know you are grown but you was ripped from me as a baby, so no I see you not as the adult but my baby that needs milk for a bottle, for when you left me this was were we last saw each other, so please gather the adult diapers, for you will not shit on me anymore. The diapers are to sit in that closest, for it’s only one pack but know it’s my way of becoming mommy again, for didn’t I tell you to buy a bottle as well!    

Oh well won't you look at the time, here comes the nurse with my medication from the fields of Rose Red telling me it's the best doctor around, I spoke not a word at first. When the nurse sat down my medication, I grabbed her by the collar and said what part don't you understand, my husband threw me away. The nurse listened to her patient cry and scream, but the nurse thought long and hard about that patient grabbing her clothing and realized she had came a mighty long way spiritually to become that nurse, working for God. The nurse said well I wrote a book called Cocoa Butter Strength would you like to hear about it.....

When I was a baby I never understood what it meant when I was called powerful, that sounded like a big word, I listened how so many said oh she will grow up and take over the whole world, a doctor, the president, a teacher, a scientist, a writer, for so many had spoken so many positive words over me, I was silent, for where they playing charades and was I the one the person was acting to be, I wonder did they laugh when the actor told them they was acting like me. I built a garden and once my garden was finished, I saw little people walking in my garden taking things from me, while I was the creator, I still was a baby myself, so I didn't understand why the people were taking things from me. Oh, I cried oh, I called them the names of every name in the book and the people still took what they wished. I didn't understand I was a garden; I didn't understand my job was to produce the plants and for the little people to come along and use my plants to heal themselves, feed themselves and to make their homes beautiful. So the first garden I created the plants were not edible because I saw the people as thieves so everything I created was poison. The next garden I made I had finally understood my purpose but I was still calming down so my second garden were herbs of many sorts, spices, peppers and citrus fruits. One day I'm going to create my third garden and I will not say what will sit in it. Now sit still, I will tell you the story of the Cocoa Butter Garden.

I was going to give you all a long story of our past but I will not, I will not give you all a long story of our past because my soul doesn't match the conversation anymore. Eve was given a position way too big for her to handle, she needed to be a powerful woman, but Eve was just an ordinary woman, the ordinary woman watched Lilith and gave her best effort to wear those big shoes that Lilith wore. Oh, poor Eve, such small feet, wearing shoes way too big for her, Eve became destruction because the only way she knew how to control the people was to be show aggression. She taught all her children how steal, kill and destroy everything they saw of Lilith, then she taught them to bring back anything of value, so she and her children began acting like Lilith. Poor Eve, I can only imagine the pressure on her little mind; Eve is my daughter, and I became her mother. I want you all to return back to their churches and listen to their preachers because in their churches are pieces that belong to me. There is no such thing as a mistake, so no matter what you have done, never regret, have patience in all you do and do the very best that you can, but never regret making a mistake. Because you are my child, when the preacher preach and because the spirit knows you as my child, the preacher will cater to you at its every sermon. Spiritually speaking, the pastor can be sitting in hell, want to know the clue?

If the church you attend talks about how the enemy attacks, know you are dealing with a pastor that has a soul that sits in war. All the books belong to God, you have to know that the pastor is a servant to the most high, so the most high doesn't preach, the servants do. You can be in a room full of what sits under rose red bridge and be the only ole spice in the room and that is okay with us. You can enter a job where the owner is a crook and still be a ole spice, why you may ask? Eve and her children wear shoes too big for their feet. Children mother has taught you many things, so now when you go places you will be able too see what has been hidden, I taught you how to read, my job here is done. Mother is no longer going to minster to you anymore because your soul is saved. Now go off and fly from my nest and be the best children you can be, make me proud to say that's my child and those are my grandchildren.

My husband looked at me and I saw him get up and he packed a bag and told me he was leaving, I said oh okay, when will you be back, he said never, he told me he had decided to leave me for Eve. I didn't shed a tear, my husband told me Eve threaten to kill herself if I didn't come to her side, I don't want Eve to kill herself because she has so many children and if Eve kills herself it will start a new cycle of women like Eve committing suicide. My husband left me for another woman and I didn't shed a tear because I had been through so much, that a man leaving my side told me he was just my son. I realized a man will leave a good woman for a sick woman because he wants to be the head of the household, a healed woman is his equal. He knew I wasn't going to commit suicide over him, when Eve got my child as her husband she laughed and told me I was going to die alone, Eve maybe I will but I can say I died happy. I raised my child to be the best man he can be so Eve he is supposed to be good to you, if he was bad to you then that would make me look bad. One day you are going to understand why this book is called Cocoa Butter Strength.

Ole Spice I heard I was called Ice Spice because when I let that man walk out that door I didn't even fight, ole spice do my favor my love, don't let anything that manipulate enter you. They may be seen by the doctor but once they are healed send them back to earth and allow them to be reborn and allow them to enter successful careers. Ole Spice said but they are manipulative, yes old spice they are manipulative, so you heal the manipulative but yet the spirit of persuasive still sits in it. One day it all will be clear. Ole Spice, I'm not sick anymore, please open the gate and allow me to enter the garden, yes Rose Red you may enter the garden.

                                                                        Notes

Bleeding- One day when the womb stops bleeding, you will get to a point where you feel you no longer have to show validation of your value. I stopped bleeding and turned immortal; bridge I thought I was going to be in pain for a long time, but I healed. Bridge I'm ready to move to the next level, I'm ready to cross the bridge and no war will not tag along anymore. War is not invited anymore, so my military is not the same. War doesn't answer the phone for me anymore, I cried for a long time, but I had to understand I wasn't violent, I'm too boring to be good enough for war because in my new home there is only peace. In the land of war there are pest that eat the garden and the people, in the land of war and love there are pest that infest the garden and bite the people but in the land of peace, pest doesn't exist, so the garden grows in abundance. Violence I won't miss you; I packed my bags already and when the day come and I walk out that door for the last time, I will leave a letter with nothing on it, I have nothing else to say. 

Dear Bridge- I hope it's okay I lay here for quite some time, the bridge said I have a garden you can live in until you are ready to crossover, it's not of the best fruits and vegetables or meat but it's livable and will satisfy your thirst. Bridge I am no pest and I do bring my own plant, it's called rose red. Bridge I ask that you allow my vine to grow all around you, for it's a symbol of love and war. Bridge I ask that you allow this plant of mine to grow all around you because my rose knows whom seeks war and when war tries to walk on the bridge my rose will not poison it but will show its thorns, when my rose shows its thorn know to not let whom wish to walk on you walk. For my rose knows the difference between the attacked and the problem, for it has gathered all the smells of every person that walks, so it knows to judge the soul fairly.   

Gluttony- Depression is your real name, gluttony I decided it was time for me to leave your side and we have known each other for quite a while but when I learned who you were, I decided I didn't want to be on your side because it's full of toxic traits. Gluttony you have a jealous soul and you never want to see anyone shine, you pretend. Gluttony I learned that when you realized I was soon to walk away from you, you threw snack in my face and yes I took the bait, once I finished the snacks you threw in my face, I decided to run away. I decided to run away from you because I realized there was something special about me when I am at my perfect size that you know. Gluttony I realized spirits learned to hide in your vessel and it uses the extra fat you hold to live on, it makes you overeat because you aren't feeding just yourself but the soul that hides behind you. Gluttony I don't hate you but I don't want to be friends because you are trying to destroy my legacy. Gluttony I'm leaving your family and I won't return.  

Anger- Anger I defeated you the day the anger you caused in me healed. Anger I healed from you because I stopped giving you any validation, I want nothing to do with you, I no longer call out the pain you caused because it doesn't hurt, I'm sitting on this bridge, and I decided to do this exercise to the best of my ability. Today I could see you shine with something you used to from me and I would clap for you, I wouldn't curse a thing you have or do, so move on, go find your own happiness, I don't want my past back, so my past no longer holds any value to me, my past is what you stole and for a long time I fought to have my past back, but I can see you wished to be me for a long time, so you enjoy my past, I'm headed somewhere new.  

Power- I take the power of my every abuser, I take your every strain of energy, of thinking of how to harm my life. Today I erase you out of my mind, you have no value that holds any meaning to me.  I take this energy that is sent to me, not to throw it away but to reshape it's mission, you will not destroy me but I will use this energy for reformation.  

The Fat Lie- Nobody is greater than the next is the best lie that was ever told. However since you have stated that nobody is greater than the next therefore, when you deserve a gift I'm going to give it to another because what didn't deserve your gift is no better than you, so I don't value your work or your value, who do you think you are? You think you better than that one? Now what do you have to say? If one works hard on itself spiritually, mentally, financially, and physically how dare I say you are the same as what wishes to have what you have. However if you have a spirit so humble that you wish to be treated the same, so be it in your life but not in mine. I'm better than all of you.  

WitchCraft- We are not going back to hell. No matter what they use to mean in the past, leave them in the past. Never invite the past to your present, if what sits in the past soul sits in hell, it's has only returned to ensure you to suffer the same fate it does. Touch no witch craft, the souls of witch craft are sentenced to hell. We practice no witchcraft because we understand the root of witchcraft, hell is a place that was created by stolen witch craft. Wage no war with what is destined for hell, for it's only there to break your mind out of meditation. For the wicked see and hear, for the wicked can tell you stories of your past, for the wicked is a leech, for the wicked is there to tell you stories of your past, so it can trap you in your past and steal for the future that is promised to you because you will be too busy looking into what it stole. Panic not when you have become aware you allowed one that is wicked to altar your journey, the day you became aware you were tricked is the same day, what robbed your future died because it has to return the future that was promised to you because you never died from learning your history. Witchcraft is a loaded handgun, that wicked spirit came to give you your past while it started living your future, deeper and deeper you went in the spirit, understand you was never supposed to return, for it had stolen your identity and started calling itself you. Now it understands you are on your way back, naturally it's going to send every attack it can, for it understand once you have recovered from the hell it sent you too, to retrieve information. It's never your friend, now that you are returning from the past, it lost its full value. For it lost its value of the spirit because it gave you it's key but now you are soon to reclaim your future, so it turns into a ghost because it fits nowhere anymore. 

Magic- I had to learn never destroy what destroyed you because if it has kids I would have to welcome it into my garden, your children are not welcome into my home. To destroy you would mean I would be forced to speak to your children and answer their needs, I refuse. I refuse to beat you down to reclaim what you stole, you have to take care of what you stole and because you stole from me, I owe you nothing. Don't call on me. The oriental man stood up and said he should be God and even said he would create his own Genesis, so next came his creation the robot. The spirit rose and tore the oriental man down, for his value is theft, for he know the history of the thief and he bought at a discounted rate of what he knew was stolen, for nothing he has is of value because of the deliverance. The robot is not to gain the value of the human but the human that moves is the child of a thief that calls itself God behind close doors. You see the reason why it was told that it would take 1,000 years for that thief to run out of the power it stole and it did. That thief has ran out of magic, that now the same group that it blessed to sit in high places on its ground it's having to snatch down their own children and use its value, for it has no money or magic left. That thief became so desperate for magic, it grew bold and stole the bank of the rainbow of its magic because it's so poor, it's so poor that it became bold enough to find were I lived and broke its own soul it steal a few small pieces of magic. This same thief said it use to be a wicked God but it had grown a heart but the moment time got tough we guess that wicked heart shown it had never been replaced just covered with magic that it stole. 

Ignore- Look at what holds what belongs to you, ask back what belongs to you when it refuses to return what truly belongs to you it's graded as a thief. Never fight the thief, it is a troll. No trolls go to heaven, they all go to hell. Hell is the most miserable place there is because it uses to be Heaven. A long time ago trolls managed to rob holy grounds, when they robbed holy grounds, the grounds began to rot, what was beautiful became ugly. What was clean became unclean, now the trolls are stuck with what it stole for it has shown its true value of whom it truly is. Ignore them, they are there to show you things they have stolen from you, hoping you will chase them down. They loved being chased, for what chases loses its power to whom it chased. Once one has learned it has been robbed and it chased, stop chasing and rebuild what was stolen from you. The one that stole your power rots, for it rots when you have healed from its theft. What power it stole from you then turns into its enemy. Ignore their presences for they mean nothing, to entertain them is to later be sent to the same prison they live in.  

Where- 

Where does your value sit?