Single Woman

One day you are going to be glad you are here, right now you are looking around and wondering how did you get here, the past just feel like it doesn't matter anymore. I feel like death told me I was too much, will I become a whore and sleep with every man that offers me a smile, or will I remain on my course and learn to be my own mountain? Maybe I will just be that transgender, but I realized I'm not trying to prove a point, for there is no man so what shall feel his spot. Shall I just leave that spot empty, or do I look at that empty area and or do I place up an availability on indeed. You use to be my main focus, you use to be my main focus because I use to think I needed you; you have shown me I don't. I use to circle my every thought around you, I use to place you first because I thought soil was all I was and I thought you was the rock I was meant to mix with and build that mountain, I thought the children would come to our mountain, but you taught me to be both the rock and the soil, you hate me. I'm going to eliminate the need for you, you have never been nice to me. I look over my past and saw my children sitting with other women, I lost my children because of you, four of them. I been so busy trying to get you to act right so I could have a home for my children to live in but there wasn't one day you would pick up a rock for me. Maybe I'm the issue, maybe you realize I was using you, I was, maybe you saw me always staring off when you were talking, I was. My focus has been my children and with you I saw how it would take me months to get where alone it can take me years. I saw your value of moving fast, running back to my babies will always be the plan. You left me for another woman before we could lay the foundation, it's okay I will learn how to lay my own cement. Children mother focus has been you, and you alone, I just needed help in the past, the help never arrived, so don't worry I'm going to glide to you one day and tell you get on my back. To a mother that loves her children the most, a home is key. Foundation is the key. Oh, I decided to just be that single woman, that is overdeveloped. First I saved my soul, so my children if I was to slip away in the night, know my soul sits high, now that my soul is saved, life is just beginning for me. I'm going to first get you an apartment, it's going to be in the hood but it's going to be our home. When I get that apartment best believe mommy running to you, please sir have your wife move out of the way, she is not the mother to my child, no matter how much she wishes to be. At first, I was ashamed of what I could offer you, for it's not the Beverly Hills that you deserve but it's our beginning, mommy decided the man just isn't important anymore and yes with him, I would've given you more and you would've never seen the hood under my roof but the first lesson I'm going to teach you is to be your own mountain. 

Children, mother was not rewarded the blessing you receive, for I came from the generation of lost mothers and fathers, so their offsprings are not well. Children mother does not believe happiness is a single woman that sits in a high place, but I the offspring are not well that they offer for marriage, for I have seen many of all sorts and they all are venomous. The men have become hostile, and he lacks patience, he yells easy at anything that doesn't go his way, very venomous. For children mother wished I could've gifted you a stepfather of great strength but my children, the previous generation of whom I came from did not value respect, so many of the children are men and women but yet they are not of mental growth, so mother is single as I write these words. I threw the feeling of dependence in the closet; I started a new company and mother produce enough income alone now. One day, you will understand I why raised you so, for children mother wrote this story to you because you are not to die from lack of knowledge. Know why mother is single, mother is not bitter, children just because there is no father around doesn't mean that's permeant be patience and accept, I am a single mother.